So… there’s going to be a new Transformers film (melodramatic sigh). As you might have guessed if you happen to possess a functioning brain-stem, Micheal Bays tortuously long, pornographically sensible, explosion filled extravaganza will be returning, with m-=ore bots, more boobs and more of, you guessed it, “The Berg.”

The one and only thing this film isn’t likely to contain is, well Micheal Bay himself. Or so he says but he’ll probably direct it anyways and if he doesn’t he’ll be backing it or producing or hammering it out in some capacity. That aside, Mr. Walberg has given all fifteen fans of the Transformers franchise a bit of sneak peek into what will be in store for them (see more of the interview here:

Walberg, though somewhat vague in the interview explicitly states that he is contractually obliged for at least, “doing a couple more,” transformers films. Poor guy. Still he’s a better leading man by miles than the charisma vacuum of Shia LeBeouf. The projected release date for the yet unnamed 5th Transformers film will be 2016 which will coincided with the projected release date of another hallmark release, Star Trek 3 (also untitled as yet). And even though Star Trek three was made for an audience that never watched Star Trek (which should be the last target audience for the film) the first two were worlds better than the dub-stepping autobot films. All I can say is, please, if your out there, listening, don’t let them keep making these things! But they will and it will make millions…Unless we start a revolution…better get in touch with Sergio Andrade Gutierrez.

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